hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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