Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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