No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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