I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
