her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
