when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
