I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
NoShamevember. You game?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
