Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
