You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
