They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think I sprained my soul last night
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
