I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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