we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
