Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
