You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
