I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
