p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
