It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
