Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
