first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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