I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
