i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
