grandma shit on top of the toilet
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
