Whod you bang
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
