Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
