R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
