what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
