i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
We had sex on a dog bed..
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I know her cup size but not her name....
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