What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
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