is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
