That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
