They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
