i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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