where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
How does one acquire holy water?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
