Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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