Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
