eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
