I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
