You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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