god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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