I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
