Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So squirting runs in the family.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
