They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Randomize
