How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
