Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
