Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
only you would photoshop your dick
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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