I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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