Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
