Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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