so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
