I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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